A few moments ago, in between a call from my husband that he was on his way home and breaking up another fight between the boys, I grabbed a laundry basket and threw a load of laundry into the washing machine. So far, so multitaskingly good.

However, I started that load of laundry on Sunday. Today is Friday. I have probably reached the pinnacle of my career as a slummy mummy in taking one week to do one load of laundry. In my defence, I… okay there is no defence for it. Here’s every slummy mummy’s guide to taking six days to do one load of laundry.

Day 1 – 

Prepare a load of laundry and separate into appropriate colours. Throw into the washing machine and start the cycle. Leave the laundry in the washing machine overnight, telling yourself you’ll lay it out tomorrow.

Day 2 – 

Open the door of the washing machine in the morning in an attempt to air out the washing so it doesn’t start smelling musty. Tell yourself you’ll hang it out later that day.

Day 3 – 

Remove the washing from the drum, sniff for acceptable levels of mustiness, pile into laundry basket and place on the sofa. Forget it there overnight.

Day 4 – 

Forget laundry on sofa. You know it’s there, but you are ignoring it, until it magically hangs itself out to dry, or walks itself back to the washing machine. In your heart you know the acceptable level of mustiness has been surpassed by now.

Day 5 –

Pile neighbouring piles of dry laundry on top of the laundry basket and hide your guilt. Ignore it for one more day.

Day 6 – 

Admit defeat. Check for mustiness level, retch, remove dry and clean laundry from the top (retaining the pieces that are contaminated by mustiness) and put everything back into the washing machine for another cycle. If you have no dignity, go back to step 1.

 

There you have it. I hope I’m not the only person to do this, but I sort of suspect that I am.