20 Things You’ll Never Hear an Athenian Say

  1. Look at this beautiful August afternoon! The perfect day for a trip to the Acropolis!
  2. I’m just going to walk to the store.
  3. Instead of coffee and cigarettes, I thought today was a good day to have a proper breakfast so I ate a bowl of muesli.
  4. The metro is on strike? Well, it’s been a while since I took the bus.
  5. So the city center has been shut down again because some hotshot is visiting. These security measures are necessary. Good job, Athens Police!
  6. You know, I’ve never actually taken part in a protest as a teenager.
  7. Omonia. Now there’s a great part of town.
  8. Opa! Let’s go smash some plates!
  9. A stop sign. I better stop.
  10. Wow look at this! These little lights actually let people know which direction your car is going to turn! Better use ’em.
  11. This yiayia in front of me is walking at the perfect speed.
  12. So I went to the city center, and there was a parking space right there in front of me.
  13. I don’t feel very well but my first thought isn’t that it’s the mati. 
  14. I had to go deal with the public sector today and it was a really pleasant experience.
  15. This brand new foot path, complete with trees growing out of it, is a brilliant design, because the disabled of Athens can just go get screwed! Thanks Mr Mayor!
  16. What’s a molotov cocktail?
  17. Great news, guys! This bar is actually imposing its no smoking rule!
  18. I’m so glad that we’ve got Germany to sort out this financial mess we’re in. Frau Merkel really knows her stuff.
  19. That coffee shop is all out of frappe? Never mind. I consume too much caffeine as it is.
  20. The Olympics were the best thing that could have happened to this city. Who needs new schools anyway.
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